From Poppin' Caps to Causin' Faps: The Flashing, Shooting Model

Ian-Fortey by Ian-Fortey on Jul. 08, 2014

Have you ever heard of Devan Serpa?  Neither has anyone else, but she’s infamous now.  The amateur model, who so far as we know has a portfolio but has not modelled lingerie for Wal Mart yet, which is the true test of an amateur model’s mettle, was recently arrested for a shooting incident in Louisiana.  You thought it was going to be Florida, didn’t you?  That’s fair.

According to the report, two cars were just shooting at one another and somehow no one at all was hurt.  Hopefully it played out like Death Race 2000 and Serpa was like Frankenstein, defying the odds and somehow winning the day against her bloodthirsty opponents.  Or you know what?  Maybe on a re-read she just shot at two different cars.  Who cares, it’s not the really interesting part of the story.

Seems that Serpa was either really excited to be arrested or unclear as to what being arrested meant since, while she was being booked, she took the opportunity to “flash her genital area” at the arresting officer. What this likely means is she lifted her skirt but in a more hilarious world we like to think she had pants on with a little tearaway flap, for use only in genital-flashing emergencies.

Rather than being flattered, or even mildly impressed, the arresting officer just added an extra charge to the criminal property damage and illegal use of a firearm she was already being charged with by slapping her with an obscenity charge.  This just goes to show all you other potential models/criminal masterminds, your junk may not get you out of jail time.  Plus, as everyone knows, it’s boobs you’re supposed to flash to get out of a ticket.  A genital flash probably only gets you out of illegally towing a horse trailer or something like that.  To get out of charges related to shooting at other cars you’re probably going to need to flash an entire NFL cheerleading squad’s worth of boobs, plus a few thousand dollars, and even then you need to make sure no one’s filming it with their phone, because cops are wary of where and when they can be crooked these days. 

What kind of woman shoots up a few cars and then responds to law enforcement by busting out the goods?  Let’s read her profile on Google and find out!

Im Devan or Dee for short, im 24 yrs, a leo, and i have 2 beautiful daughters ages 2 and 6. Im very spiritual and live an interesting life bc of it! As of right now im a stay-at-home-mom bc i want to spend the summer doing fun things with my girls. I deserve the summer off anyways! lol I also make extra spending cash doing odd jobs. Anything else u want to know, just ask me!

Make fun of Break editors all you want but it gave two of us nosebleeds to leave that text “as is.”  Looks like Dee’s summer is off to a bit of rocky start, but at least her spirituality will help her through the prison chow line and maybe avoid a shanking.  And we’ll just not bother with that line about “making cash doing odd jobs” because we’re all pretty much thinking the same thing there, anyway.  In fact, let’s avoid the whole mess because it gets depressing to think this woman had a couple of kids at home. 

On the bright side, since she was booked, it seems like she has a real "Orange is the New Black" attitude about prison and will probably find her niche right away once she’s behind bars in a way that’s both gritty and realistic yet sometimes funny and sexy. We can’t wait to watch!

49 comments
ArthurNegus911
ArthurNegus911 User

So I guess we`ll be seeing her in the next B rated Zombie flick then playing an crazy topless hooker

Victoria Eve
Victoria Eve

Model? I saw 10 prettier dogs on my walk down the street.

JamesandTasha High
JamesandTasha High

Lawd glory!! That is IT!! I want America back. What happened to laws,regulations, the lords prayer but mostly RESPECT

Justsumdood
Justsumdood User

@Hamburglar.......Facking Jokes man.....

Muhammad-Islam-146
Muhammad-Islam-146 User

Where can I find more modeling photos? When I Google her name only this news story come up.

Jakeb-Lindsay-38
Jakeb-Lindsay-38 User

@synweb77 I know more redneck republicans on welfare and unemployment or moving off of family always online Bitching about their guns than heed working ones.

Elias-Magana-696
Elias-Magana-696 User

i dint know cars shoot one another i tough people pull the trigger

Elias-Magana-696
Elias-Magana-696 User

shes on drugs what explain her attitud, sad eyes girl, evil too

BODUKE7
BODUKE7 User

I bet my republican a$$ that she got the "Gangsta" is the word are term we use for STD'S down here in 'Coona$$' country. FYI... at best she only had the herp, are the drip no doubt hands down. F'dat' I'll leave that nasty think for you city boys!!

Dale1982
Dale1982 User

Calling #allguys last month women drooled over the mug shoot of a bad boy a guy who was a rapist and said they would pay his bail to keep him outta jail, so guess what (NOW) it's our turn to drool over the mug shoot of a Gorgeous bad girl a model and we shall all get together and pay her bail! Hey we guys can't help ourselves! It's Only Fair because if women can drool over a guy that they (Say) is a hot guy which he (Really) wasn't, then us guys can drool over a women who in fact really is (Gorgeous)! Plus that's the Natural Look which we guys really in truly love with women instead of all that Shit they call makeup!

LawnBuffalo
LawnBuffalo User

"According to the report, two cars were just shooting at one another"...


Gun culture sounds great and all, but I think I'll stay up here.

Nord20
Nord20 User

"amateur model". Lol.  Does that mean I can call myself an "amateur astronaut"?

Bob Jones
Bob Jones

Check out the company she keeps, explains everything!

DressUpYourPet
DressUpYourPet User

Aw, wait, she hasn't blown it yet- she still has a promising career as a porn model!  Next stop?  Meth head!  We already have the "before" photos too!

whatinitheworld
whatinitheworld UserTop Commenter

nomnom, I'll do her any day of the week (just leave the kids with granny)

Juan Davila
Juan Davila

Of Lord is this what this country is coming to now get arrested then get a modeling contract because of ur mugshot give me a damn break.

Duddy Ryer
Duddy Ryer

She will be doing porn when she gets out of jail

ChillBilly
ChillBilly User

She's disgusting. Why would you say causing faps?

Scott Cheramie
Scott Cheramie

She just wanted to show the guard that her "prison purse" was empty! That's all......

Hamburg1ar
Hamburg1ar User

Women with pencil-thin eyebrows are always crazy.  I watched my ex's sanity deteriorate with her eyebrows.

Sarla
Sarla User

The word "Skank" comes to mind..

BlankTitanic
BlankTitanic User

Of course she has two kids. Typical southern republican garbage.

NewUser2014
NewUser2014 User

I wouldn't mind if she flashes her genitals to me, I can probably even find a use for those

Lawson-Conner-34
Lawson-Conner-34 User

@Hamburg1ar You know... The more I think about your comment... the more I'm beginning to believe it's true as well!!!

synweb77
synweb77 User

@BlankTitanic She can't be a republican....  Republicans work.  Liberal Trash stay at home living off Republican tax dollars since they "deserve" it

mustangman6799
mustangman6799 User

@NewUser2014 They probably look like dead, withered roast beef curtains.  Two kids and meth, no doubt?  No thanks.  She should keep that hatchet wound closed.

Kyle-Monk-433
Kyle-Monk-433 User

@synweb77 @BlankTitanic I would absolutely love to know how many people claiming benefits were republican. Not for any particular reason, just to know.