If shady Internet quotation sites are to be believed, Victor Hugo once said, “There is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come.” And considering the idiotic times in which we live, now is truly the right moment to introduce the idea of a “Meat Mountain.”
“And behold a pale horse: let’s eat it.” – The Book of Arby-Q
Arby’s “Meat Mountain” is a sandwich made up of eight different meats from four different animals, topped off with a slice of both cheddar and swiss cheese. It makes the KFC “Double Down” look like one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s kale turds. It is the ultimate indictment of corporate greed and modern factory farming. In other words, it’s pretty awesome.
Aside from the bun and the aforementioned cheeses, the sandwich is made up of the following items:
2 chicken tenders
1.5 oz. of roast turkey
1.5 oz. of ham
1.5 oz. of corned beef
1.5 oz. brisket
1.5 oz. of Angus steak
1.5 oz. roast beef
3 half-strips of bacon
If you’re not already on your way to Arby’s, I assume you’re probably asking yourself one simple question: Why? The answer is somehow both completely shocking and utterly predictable, with equal parts chance and fate mixed in for good measure.
Long associated with Roast Beef, Arby’s marketing team was trying to raise awareness of the brand’s various other meat-based menu items when they came up with this poster.
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Fate or Chance?
The company began hanging the promotional materials in its restaurants as a way to showcase all the deliciousness they had to offer. But much to everyone’s surprise (or perhaps to no one’s surprise) people actually began asking for piles of meat. Since the customer is always right, even when they’re so clearly wrong, the fast-food giant decided to comply, and the “Meat Mountain” was born.
However, it seems Arby’s, of all places, is still trying to maintain a shred of dignity, and will not be officially offering the item on its menu. Instead, it will live as a secret off-menu item, similar to the legendary McDonald’s “McGangbang.”
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The McGangbang: Google It
Those in the know can walk into participating locations, ask for a “Meat Mountain,” slip the cashier $10, and walk out with a pile of meat that’s so big, it has to be wrapped in paper because it won’t fit in a normal container.
Of course, the “Meat Mountain” coincides perfectly with Arby’s new slogan, “We have the meats.” It also coincides with our new national slogan, “We have the hypertension.” (Source)