Apparently Riding On The Outside Of A Subway Train Is A-OKAY In NYC

New York City is a shithole. There, I said it – and I’m not fucking sorry. The “greatest” city in America is a paved hellhole that smells like piss and tourists in the summer, and in the winter it’s actually pretty okay save for the fact that it’s so goddamn cold. Honestly, that title really only belongs to Baltimore…

…because Baltimore is a genuine shithole and it’s fucking funny.

But back to New York City, and this death-starved guy who thinks taking a cruise on the outside of a subway train is a perfectly acceptable way to commute to work in the morning.

Guy Rides On Outside Of Subway Train: Nothing To See Here Folks

A post shared by Matthew Beary (@mattbeary) on

Guy Rides On Outside Of Subway Train: Just Another NYC Tuesday

First of all, I was exaggerating — this is definitely going to a methadone clinic, not work. And frankly, I’m surprised there aren’t at least 12 other dudes doing the same thing on the same car. Craziness attracts friends, and missing the B heading into Manhattan means you’re gonna have to wait another 20 minutes for the train. Why wait when you can spider monkey yourself between subway trains, jumping from the outside of one to the other like the crackhead you most likely are? To be completely honest, I’ve been in subway trains where someone blatantly shat themselves and just decided to marinate in feces instead of wash up, so I can get why this dude thought the fresh air option would be preferable to a potential poo-palooza.

But the most New York thing about this video? Kid in the hat couldn’t care less. Woman on the right is probably a tourist, but to the rest of New York this is just a Tuesday. Until subway Spiderman starts pissing in your coffee or whips a mariachi band out of his pocket, dude is fine – and if he dies? Well, the rats gotta eat too, don’t they?

[H/T Fox 17]