Tis the season to be full of jolly and lots and lots of anger. It’s that wonderful time of the year again when we’re supposed to be kind to one another but mainly we just end up full of piss and vinegar over the dumbest shit. For instance, the term Merry Christmas (or lack thereof) has been really getting on the people’s nerves the last few years and it seems like we’re finally reaching a boiling point. Does this mean we’ll have to retitle the classic National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation to Holiday Vacation just to appease everyone? Ughhhhh.
So Mr. Anish Patel decided to bring people together by offering all of the snowflakes offended by the phrase “Merry Christmas” a ride to the aiport. What a kind gesture, Anish! Very kind!
Anish kicked off his kind gesture with a “Merry Christmas” to his Twitter followers before making the announcement.
Almost as an after thought, Anish followed up his original tweet with “And if people are offended by Christmas, I will personally drive them to the airport myself.” His tweet took off like wild fire because, I mean, that’s one hell of an offer. Even Santa can’t guarantee that kind of joy this time of year and that dude’s got a damn flying sleigh!
It didn’t take long for Anish to find his first annoyed person who is apparently really offended by the word Christmas. So offended they just can’t find the patience to drive themselves to the airport.
And then more people came. It was like people coming far and wide to wish the baby Jesus a happy birthday only with way more offended and lazy people.
Ahhhh shit. Anish better hire a secretary for these free rides!
It was at this point Anish realized what he tried to do was a big mistake. I mean, he could’ve literally offered anything else but he chose to offer what might be the most universally hated act of friendship there is: a ride to the airport. Might as well just mail free cash because he’d be spending hundreds on gas anyway!
“Seasons Greetings your ass elsewhere!”
Anish eventually withdrew his offer and deleted his tweet, but the requests kept coming. It hysterically got to the point when Anish had to set his Twitter profile to private as to not keep getting offers all throughout the night.
So what did we learn here? Well, really nothing in regards to the holiday season. However in regards to offering free rides to the airport for any reason at all is just a bad fucking idea no matter what time of year it is. That we can all hold hands and agree on it.
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