America First. Forever. Obviously. But Who Can Be Our Official Distant Second?

America First. It’s the mantra of our noble, benevolent, democratically elected overlord President Donald J. Trump, as well as a self-evident truth: we’re number one.

And just about every country on Earth wants to be our runner-up.

The “America First, _______ Second” trend kicked off with this video from the Netherlands that went viral worldwide:

The video was such a hit, it seemed like the Netherlands was a lock for #2, and the remaining mid and low-tier countries would just have to settle for fighting for scraps.

Fat chance. The video kicked off an “America First, _______ Second” video war, with just about damn near every not-America country out there rushing to pitch themselves for consideration as our most favored underling. Here’s a roundup of nearly every player in the game. (We cut a few that were simply deluding themselves).

Watch them all, then participate in our OFFICIAL poll at the bottom of the page. The winner will be coronated as the second-best and second-most important country on the planet!

Denmark Second:

Sweden Second:

Norway Second:

Finland Second:

Switzerland Second:

Ireland Second:

France Second:

Austria Second:

Italy Second:

Greece Second:

Russia Second:

Israel Second:

Hong Kong Second:

Japan Second:

India Second:

Australia Second:

Mexico Second: