‘No M’am I DON’T Want A BJ For $25 And Some McNuggets, Also You’re Under Arrest’

Everyone has a rock bottom. Maybe you’re being audited by the IRS after blowing through your life’s savings on inflatable pool toys when you don’t have a pool, or maybe your wife left you because she decided your brother’s dick is bigger, but no matter where your rock bottom just be thankful it’s still above where Alex DiReeno landed.

At only 22 years old, Alex is an astute businesswoman when it comes to what currency is acceptable in exchange for a blowjob. To think, I used to give these out for free! What a chump I was. Why suck dick for $0 when you can suck it for $25 and a serving of McNuggets?

I think you can guess where this is going.

McNuggets are great. Would I prefer a McDouble? Of course, but beggars can’t be choosers and prostitutes are not smart enough to haggle, nor are they smart enough to realize when an undercover cop just sat down next to them. Sadly, Alex falls into both of these categories.

After some short conversation in the back of what I am only willing to picture as a PT Cruiser (add a PT to any situation and it automatically gets 500x weirder, go on, try!), Alex agreed to give an undercover detective a blowjob in exchange for, YOU GUESSED IT, $25 and a serving of chicken nuggets. Specifically, The Smoking Gun states that “…the cop told DiReeno that he ‘wanted to get my dick sucked.’ To which DiReeno reportedly replied, ‘Okay.’”

Dream big, Alex. Maybe next time up your price and request a double quarter pounder and a $50 gift card to any store that sells cheap plastic shit (Target, Walmart, Little Caesars…you get the idea.)

Sadly, Alex never got her chicken nuggets as the detective stopped their car a few blocks shy of McDonalds where they were greeted by additional officers who took her into custody. Charged with prostitution and possession of drug paraphernalia, she was booked into county jail under a $620 bond.