You Can Now Drink Wine At Target, But What Should You Drink At Other Stores?

Target, America’s answer to “I’m a cheap fuck but wouldn’t be caught dead in a Walmart,” is attempting to make it legal for customers to drink in their stores while they shop. Whether this is an attempt to boost store sales through drunk purchases or a grab at reaching the oh-so elusive blossoming alcoholic demographic remains to be seen, but with any luck the first bottle poppin’ Target will be the Navy Pier location in Chicago. “We sell liquor at a number of stores,” chain spokesperson Angie Thompson told Fortune, “but we currently don’t have any Target stores that serve liquor on site.”

What a shame, but why stop there? You should be able to drink openly in any store if you ask me, although some stores pair better with certain types of alcohol over others: