7 Grown-Ass Adults Who Pretended To Be Teenagers

They say everything is bigger in Texas. In the case of high-school girls, that must be true.

A 34-year-old woman named Charity Anne Johnson was arrested last week in Longview, Texas, after it was discovered she’d been pretending to be a 15-year-old student for seven months. That seems like a long time for a middle-aged woman to go undetected. But in all fairness to the teachers, constant use of social media has left today’s teens unusually large and wrinkled.

As the video above will explain, a motive for Johnson’s scam has not been determined. I personally like to think she just wanted an outlet to show off her sweet Bell Biv Devoe Trapper Keeper. But whatever the case may be, Johnson is not alone. Although their reasons may vary, many adults have attempted to impersonate teenagers throughout the years. Here are six more bizarre examples.

Editor’s Note: Due to time constraints, we did not include porn stars who pretend to be teens on this list.

James Nash – 21

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It’s not uncommon for middle-aged men to long for their glory days playing high school football. However, it is uncommon for 21-year-olds to have similar feelings. In fact, it’s pretty pathetic. But that didn’t stop James Nash from impersonating a student in order to play for a high-school team in Mount Pleasant, MI. As if that wasn’t sad enough, he wasn’t even very good.

“He looked like any other athletic senior,” coach Jason McIntyre told The Associated Press after an anonymous tip exposed Nash as a fraud. “I don’t think he had any interceptions. He was not a dominant player.”

Ouch. (Source)

Christopher M. Schildt – 52

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When Christopher M. Schildt was arrested for trying to attend class at Waterford High School, he claimed he was merely trying to expose security flaws as part of a book project. I assume the working title of the book was I’m A God Damn Creep: The Christopher M. Schildt Story.

School officials claim Schildt spent over a year setting up an elaborate back story, claiming his nephew “Matt” would need to attend the school. According to Schildt, “Matt” was a throat-cancer survivor, which meant he couldn’t talk much. He also had a severe sensitivity to light, which made wearing sunglasses indoors a necessity. And to top it all off, “Matt” was also a sex abuse victim, because I guess Schildt thought it sounded cool.

As you can probably guess, it took teachers exactly one day to figure out the quiet kid named “Matt” was actually 52-year-old Christopher M. Schildt wearing sunglasses. Police were called, and he was arrested the same day. Still no word on a publication date for that book. (Source)

Mckinzey Sewell – 22 (Or Maybe 18)

Some people claimed Mckinzey Sewell wass 22-years old. Mckinzey himself claimed he was only 18. While his age is unclear, everyone can agree he had no business attending Ridgeway High School, much less playing on the basketball team.

Sewell, who already had a GED, enrolled at the school with the help of Chaundrea Nicolle, his 35-year-old wife. Nicolle pretended to be Sewell’s mother and vouched for Sewell with school administrators. She came to regret this decision when her husband became romantically involved with girls at the school. But in all fairness to Nicolle, if you can’t trust a grown man you’ve helped fraudulently enroll in high school, who can you trust?

Once enrolled, Sewell quickly joined the basketball team, which was expected to make a run for the state title. Unfortunately for the rest of the team, Sewell’s lie was exposed, and Ridgeway was disqualified from the tournament. On a side note, the team’s assistant coach was also murdered, which isn’t funny, but, when coupled with Sewell’s bizarre story, leads me to believe Ridgeway High School is a pretty f*cked up place. (Source)

Mark Anthony Richardson II – 21

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Of all the people on this list, Mark Anthony Richardson II is probably the most sympathetic. He wasn’t trying to be near teenagers, and he wasn’t trying to live out a pathetic sports fantasy. Richardson’s motives for acting like a teen were much more pure. He was simply trying to convince women to change his diaper. We’ve all been there, right fellas?

Richardson, who was 4-foot-9 and 120 pounds at the time of his crimes, pretended to be a teen-aged autistic boy who needed constant supervision. Babysitters who were duped into “supervising” Richardson were expected to feed him baby formula and change his soiled diapers. His brilliant plan was eventually discovered, and he pleaded guilty to felony sexual battery and seven counts of outraging public decency (he was charged with one count for every time his diaper was changed). (Source)

Two Riverside County Sheriff’s Deputies – Too Old For This Sh*t

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If the following story reminds you of the plot of 21 Jump Street, that’s because it is, except without the laughter.

In 2013, the Riverside County Sheriff’s Department undertook a semester-long sting operation in which a male and female officer posed as high-school students. The operation seized marijuana, cocaine, methamphetamine, hashish and prescription pills, and led to the arrest of 25 students. The male office also discovered a profound sense of self-loathing brought on by the fact that he could pass for a teenager. On the flip side, female officer seemed happier than ever.

But not everyone was happy with police posing as students. Accusations of entrapment were hurled at the department, and the parents of one student (seen above) claim an undercover officer took advantage of their son who is autistic and was desperate for friendship. But I for one will sleep better knowing autistic kids aren’t smoking joints. Protect and serve, boys!(Source)