9th Grader Arrested For Killing Dinosaur With A Gun

Welcome to Today in Wait, What? A 16-year-old freshman at Summerville High School in South Carolina might be the first human being ever arrested for killing a dinosaur. Dinosaur conservationists are going to be pissed at Alex Stone, since the teen viciously killed a dinosaur using gun… in a story he wrote. Next he should write about killing Sasquatch. Ppeople have been trying to bag him for years.

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The Next Jeff Goldblum

Alex’s mother says it’s all a big misunderstanding and she wishes that the school called her first so they could hear Alex’s side of the story before things escalated so quickly. Alex’s class was instructed to write a story about themselves in the form of a Facebook update. So Alex says he followed the assignment, writing;

“I killed my neighbor’s pet dinosaur, and, then, in the next status I said I bought the gun to take care of the business,” Stone said.

Apparently the words “gun” and “taking care of business” were enough to set off alarm bells at the school causing his teacher to report him to school officials who in turn called the police. Not sure if this was an animal abuse complaint, but the fuzz quickly showed up at the school to search the kid’s locker and book bag for a weapon; which they did not find, since as you read earlier, the whole thing took place in a fictional story. Great, now Obama is trying to take our fictional guns.

Also, according to scientists, dinosaurs died out 66 million years ago.


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Alex should be allowed to defend himself and his family from dinosaurs.

At least this is the first dinosaur related arrest that the media is talking about; in South Carolina they may have been killing dinosaurs when people lived with them six thousand years ago, am I right?

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South Carolina National Guard

After being arrested for his Jurassic crimes, Alex was suspended from school for one week. He will have time to sit at home and plot more triceratops terror. And e will be in good company, as noted film director Stephen Spielberg also recently found himself in hot water when photos of him posing with dinosaur hunting trophies went viral, tarnishing his reputation.

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Alex Stone Was Influenced by This Hollywood Maniac

Do you think it was right for school officials and police to protect the public from a possible homicidal dinosaur murderer, or is this just another example of an overreaction? I know one group of dinosaurs who are not on Alex’s side.

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Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney