8 Weirdest Things Men Have Been Caught Screwing

With all the awesome sex toy options out there it is truly amazing the number of times men have been caught screwing weird, inanimate objects. Over the years, we here at Break have documented dudes literally getting caught with their pants down. These misguided fellas were having their way with everything from objects that are just silly to the downright bizarre. These guys should have just bought the male pleasure device, the Fifi instead! The sex toy for men is the 1st male sex toy with no-mess cleanup! Get Fifi.

Guy Caught Having Sex With A Toy Horse At Walmart

Sean Johnson, a Brooksville, Florida area man was arrested for horsing around at Walmart. Employees at the store witnessed him removing a toy horse from the shelf, and taking it to one of the store’s beds for sale in the housewares department where he began to have sex with it. Johnson then completed his horse race if you know what I mean. Next he put the defiled toy back on the shelf, taking off with a gallop before store security could apprehend him for his filthy toy equestrian encounter.

Man Caught Having Sex With A Porsche At A Dealership

Some guys really love cars. And then there is a man in Thailand who in 2015 was caught making love to a car. The unidentified romantic must have exotic tastes in lovers. That’s because he was filmed on surveillance cameras entering a Porsche dealership, dropping his trousers and putting it in the tailpipe. Unfortunately this is the one time that is not a euphemism.

Guy Caught Putting His Pool Noodle In A Pool Raft Four Times

Edwin Tobergta of Hamilton Ohio has a thing for banging pool rafts so much so that back in 2014 he got caught for the fourth time. This time Edwin was caught boinking a pool raft by the side of the road. His earlier lustful pool raft encounters stemmed from a 2011 incident where he was caught making love to his neighbor’s pool raft in an alley. He went to jail for that man on raft love. Then, in 2013 Edwin was caught having sex with his neighbor’s SAME pool raft yet again.  –Wait time out. HIS NEIGHBOR KEPT THE POOL RAFT AFTER EDWIN HAD SEX WITH IT? Do pool rafts cost that much that you would use the same one after the guy pictured here pleasured himself with it?!

Someone buy these people a pool raft, my goodness let’s start a fund or something!

The Guy Who Got Caught Screwing A Couch

 Wisconsin man, Gerard Streator was caught humping a couch on the side of the road, getting some sweet pushin’ on that cushin.’ The 46-year-old was arrested in 2012 after an off duty police officer witnessed the man putting the “love” in the term “love-seat” with the discarded curbside sofa. The officer stated the La-Z-Boy lover “had been thrusting his pelvic area against the cushions and trying to sexually gratify himself by rubbing his penis between the two cushions.”

Nobody will be searching for extra change in the couch cushions at Gerard’s house.

Reminder: there are sex toys out there for this sort of thing:

 

Guy Caught Banging A Picnic Table

Love is no picnic for an Ohio man, Art Price Jr. who was caught having sex outside with his picnic table. Neighbors were not so fond of his romantic picnic for one. While the man was performing the love act in his own backyard with his own table, he was unfortunately in plain view of other houses. Those folks were treated to bit of a show when he came outside naked and had sex with the picnic table’s umbrella hole.

Guy Caught Banging A Land Rover

A British man named Daniel Cooper was caught shagging a Land Rover while totally drunk. We’ve all regretted drunk hookups but this guy wins the race! Back in 2013 the randy Cooper dropped his pants and pulled his shirt over his face after a night of heavy drinking. He then began getting intimate with a parked Land Rover Discovery outside of a restaurant.  While the man claims he was so intoxicated he can’t remember what happened, the ever present security cameras have no problem replaying the incident which landed him in court. Luckily for him he was only given three months community service for is vehicular humping.

Man Caught Having Sex With The Road

While a few of these lusty lads have been caught having sexy time with vehicles, one fella decided to get literal with the definition of the term “road head.” In June 2016 coworkers in Long Beach, California were stunned to witness and film a man outside of their office building with his pants down, going to town on the road. He can be clearly seen in front of some parked cars thrusting into the pavement.     This really is NOT why they call it a man hole.

Man Caught Having Sex With A Bicycle In Hotel

In 2007 a man in Scotland was going for bit of a wild ride with his bicycle in his hotel room. Hotel cleaning staff knocked on the room door of Robert Stewart. When he failed to answer the two used a master key to enter and were horrified to see the man with no pants, holding his bike up like some sort of Kamasutra of cycling.

All of these examples are why men need to just buy a Fifi instead!