We already know that 2016 is going to be a tough year. With the US presidential election in full swing, at a minimum we are going to have to endure day after day of political arguments, outrage and sadness. There is no avoiding it. Your Facebook and Twitter feeds will be filled with endless inane ramblings and questionably accurate Photoshop memes arguing in favor of deporting semiautomatic gay marriage licenses… or something. That is why we here at Break want to give you something to look forward to with some of the awesome, fun and exciting things that humans will have to offer in the New Year! Stay positive!
1. Tesla Model 3 Unveiled: Affordable Car Of The Future
Currently the car choice of the rich and famous with its all-electric motor, “ludicrous speed” super-fast mode button and self-driving capabilities, Tesla will finally be making a more affordable car for the rest of us schlubs. With its top of the line Model S costing upwards of $100,000, fans of Tesla with smaller bank accounts can stop starving themselves as the new Model 3 is going to be a more affordable $35,000.
According to Tony Stark- er, Tesla CEO Elon Musk, the Model 3 will be officially unveiled and pre-orders of the “car of the future” will begin in March 2016. In order to the meet high production demand for hundreds of thousands of new electric vehicles Tesla is also currently building the giant Gigafactory in the Nevada desert. The factory will be used to create the lithium ion batteries that are used to power the Tesla cars. When ramped up to full production this one factory alone will generate more of these batteries than all of the lithium ion batteries created in 2013. When completed The Tesla Gigafactory will be the second largest building by volume in the world. Hopefully it will have the world’s largest Tesla Ball in the middle of it too.
2. Rouge One: A Star Wars Story
Disney wasn’t lying when they said they were going to crank out a Star Wars flick a year. They should have just called it “Star Wars: Holy crap another Star Wars movie already!” Part of the “Star Wars Anthology” series, this film is not part of the new sequel trilogy. Instead Rouge One follows the story of the group of rebels that stole the plans for the Death Star (the plans that Princess Leia has in the beginning of A New Hope that eventually help Luke Skywalker blow the thing up… spoiler alert.)
Some have speculated that this will allow the film to show the harsh conditions in which the first Death Star was constructed under the leadership of the Galactic Empire. While we will have to wait until December 2016 to see the new film, there is good news and bad news. The good news is it sounds like it could be an interesting side story in the Star Wars universe. The bad news is technically this is a prequel and we all know how those have gone.
3. Oculus Rift Virtual Reality Headset On Sale To The Public
In the year 2016 we finally will finally have the virtual reality headset we were promised as kids. If you are like me, you grew up watching movies like Lawnmower Man and thought “hey I wish I could climb inside a virtual computer generated world of infinite possibilities, but you know without the murdering part.”
Well now several companies are competing to get their VR headsets to consumers. While Google released a “poor man’s” Oculus Rift, the Google Cardboard which allows users to slip their smart phones into a cardboard contraption, download some apps and see what it is like to step into virtual reality; the world has patiently been waiting for The Oculus Rift. Purchased by Mega Mind Mark Zuckerberg for two billion dollars, Oculus Rift is the real deal. The company said in a statement that the Rift would be released in Q1 which is business people talk for some time in January – March. A price has not officially been set, but some predict $350. That is not a lot considering all of the cool stuff you will be able to do in virtual reality!
4. 2016 Is A Leap Year! We Get An Extra Day, February 29th
2016 is a Leap Year. While most years February only has 28 days, this year it will have 29. We get a whole extra day! Also February 29th is my birthday. My actual birthday; so wish me a happy actual birthday this year since most years I don’t get to have one. That is because I was born on Leap Day, or as a bouncer at a bar who tried to confiscate my real ID that he thought was fake once told me “bullshit day.” Unlike that bouncer you all learned in school that it takes the Earth 365 days to revolve around the sun. Only it actually takes 365 days and six hours. So to make up for this discrepancy, every four years we add a day to the calendar to even things out and all is right in the space time continuum.
I always wanted to make a horror movie called Leap Year about a killer that comes back every four years; super angry at the world that he didn’t get to have a birthday as a kid. What day to celebrate your birthday during non-Leap Years is very controversial in the Leap Year Community. Some folks like to keep it in February and celebrate on the 28th. I understand this logic as I think of my birthday being “in February,” yet most years I am celebrating in March. I’m a March 1ster and celebrate on the 1st as I was born the day after the 28th. I hadn’t been born yet on the 28th of February so how can you celebrate your birthday then?! You 28thers are full of lies and denial!! …There are blogs and Facebook groups dedicated to this, I’m not kidding.
5. The Summer Olympics In Rio
In 2016 we get to have the distraction and spectacle of another Olympics. Not even the crappy Winter Olympics nobody cares about. The SUMMER Olympics, with lots of oiled up ladies (and/or lads). Taking place in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil in August, this Olympics is sure to be a party in a town that knows a thing or two about throwing a shindig. If the iconic “Rio Carnival” is any indication, than the opening ceremonies of the 2016 Games alone will be something to remember and give Super Bowl Halftime show “Left Shark” a run for his money.
Nationalistic pride can unfold on the volleyball court and the track field instead of the fields of war. The countries of the world will come together for a few weeks to lay down their weapons and pick up a basketball. Plus we call all look forward to Olympic hotties like Jaqueline Carvalho of the Brazilian women’s volleyball team hitting the sunshine:
6. Guns N’ Roses Reunion Tour: Slash And Axl Together At Last!
The last time Axl Rose and guitarist Slash performed on stage together was July 17th, 1993. In that time the world waited while Axl took over 15 years and spent $13 million dollars to come out with “Chinese Democracy” – the band’s new studio album featuring Rose as the only original member of the group.
During all those years a bastardized, Slashless version of the band tried to tour. Well now the Internet rumors have been confirmed and a real Guns ‘N Roses “reunion” is expected to happen at Coachella 2016. Featuring original members Axl Rose, Slash and bassist Duff McKagan, there is still speculation as to if original drummer Steven Adler or guitarist Izzy Stradlin will perform. Take me down to the paradise city!
7. SpaceX Will Launch Falcon Heavy: The Most Powerful Rocket In The World
SpaceX, the private, commercial rocket launch company just completed an amazing feat in becoming one of the first to launch a “reusable” rocket. The Falcon 9 booster rocket successfully landed ala “Buck Rogers”- while the large rockets required to launch into space normally fall into the ocean, wasting millions of dollars, reusable rockets have the potential to make space flight a lot cheaper. Before this a rocket safely returning to earth and landing vertically was only a thing of science fiction.
Next SpaceX plans to launch the Falcon Heavy in 2016. This rocket will be the most powerful ever created and they say it will launch into orbit twice the payload of the next most powerful rocket, the Delta IV- and they will do it at one third the cost. The goal of this type of rocket is to eventually launch humans to the moon or even Mars. Maybe one day I will be writing “Top Ten Things To Look Forward To On Mars, 2046.”
What fun, positive and awesome things are you looking forward to in 2016?
Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney