6 Popular Christmas Presents You Might Want To Avoid

Written By Nick Dimengo

Seeing how it’s already Christmas Eve, we really hope that you’re not one of those types of people who are fighting the crowds at the mall and getting a last-minute gift for your loved ones. If you are, though, not only do we sympathize with you, but we really hope you’re not purchasing one of these, popular items that seem to be popping up on wish lists this holiday season. We’re not saying these are the worst gifts ever created, but, well, OK, they’re pretty damn bad.

6. Bananabunker

Yes, that is exactly what it looks like it does without actually being one. For those who feel it necessary to protect your bananas from bruising when placed in a backpack, nap sack, suitcase or briefcase, you’re in luck, because someone, essentially, took a dildo design and turned into something called a Bananabunker.

There’s nothing that says, “I love you,” quite like an over-the-top, phallic-looking device that oddly resembles what people use when lonely. Essentially, it’s a condom for your banana—just not the one that you thought it would be.

5. Fartzooka

Let’s just call a spade a spade—farts are funny. And, while we all laugh at the sound of them and nearly barf at the smell of them, no one could possibly want a device that, “recreates a human-like sound” 24/7, right?

Apparently, they do.

That’s because there’s a device out there called the Fartzooka that does just that, producing the gassy sounds in varying pitches to fake out everyone around you into thinking you had a bit too much protein to eat. And, with that, our society continues to prove how intelligent we are.

4. Adjustable Bluetooth Selfie Stick

Do we really need to describe why this is one of the worst ideas people are actually buying into this holiday season? You guys, selfies are dumb, so anything that is encouraging humans to take even more of them is about as depressing as the 15 attempts it will take your parents of them at the Grand Canyon when using this adjustable selfie stick. If you want a picture to capture the moment, go ahead and do what us old-fashioned people do—ask a strangers to snap it for you!

3. Drones

These things have been flying off the shelves and into the sky a lot over the past couple of years, but, this year, kids seem to be putting them atop their wish list.

It’s too bad that, on top of being as expensive as a beat up, used car, they’re also the modern day version of the Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle, with kids known to injure either themselves or someone else while playing around with them.Oh, yeah, and they’re like a secret service mobile, so don’t expect much privacy. We’re not trying to be all “adult” on you, but, unless you want your kid to, potentially, be labeled as a spy, we would avoid getting them this toy this year.

2. Cards Against Humanity Bullshit

For those who haven’t played the game “Cards Against Humanity,” you’re missing out on expressing your inner cleverness, as cards give players the chance to mix together some hilarious scenarios. And, while a few people certainly bought themselves the personalized box set with their name as an option, the company produced a set that was just a little bit more unique—and, no, we’re not just talking bullshit.

OK, maybe we are.

That’s because shoppers on Black Friday were actually sent a box of dried up poop, making them wonder if they were actually getting a deal or just made the stinkiest purchase they’ll ever buy. In case you don’t believe us watch this drunk guy’s “unboxing” video:

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1. The Ugly Christmas Sweater Suit

We know that it’s more ironic and a much more hideous version of the standard ugly sweater that everyone wears this time of year, except, well, it’s absolutely god-awful. Like, seriously, if you want to make a statement this year, walk into a party and see the types of looks that you’ll get when wearing this thing. While the ugly Christmas sweater truly isn’t ugly enough for some, this suit is so disgusting that no one should even ask you where you bought it or, more importantly, why you thought it was a good idea to drop 100 bucks on one. You guys, this is Christmas, not Halloween, so stop wearing these.

What is the worst gift you ever got on Christmas?

Follow Nick Dimengo on Twitter @itsnickdimengo