She didn't even have to use Craigslist!How can you predict what lies ahead with your potential future roommate – simply read between the lines of the Craigslist ad. So let's visit some more Craigslist Roommate Nightmares: watch out, there's red flag trouble ahead!
1. AD READS:
2. AD READS:
I am hardworking dude and live with 2 other hardworking dudes. we all keep to our selves unless there is some friends over drinking. No cops no drama no bullshit please.
prefer female who doesnt mind helping me keep the kitchen and house clean from general laziness in the house.
Roommates have girlfriends. so nothing sexual is asked and should not be offered at all !!!!!!! (just pay your rent or get thrown out)
this a serious offer for a responsible person who does not steal and is laid back and cool. No cigarette smoking in house.. If spare change comes up missing I will have you arrested. I dont put up with thieves!!
3 room mates who keep to themselves are one Fireman. one Retail Management and myself (owns the home Teacher/Director)..
rent is $75 a week unless you help with chores then rent can be lowered.
Small private room with television. Direct TV in living room which you have access to as well. phone and internet also available.
THIEVES WILL BE PROSECUTED. ( CAMERAS IN HOUSE)
DRUG USERS WILL BE PROSECUTED ( YOU ARE NOT SMARTER THAN ME SO DONT TRY TO HIDE IT)
RED FLAG: After the first week, your new “hardworking dude” roommate will accuse you of thieving. (Remember: you are not as smart as him so don’t try and hide it!) No cops (there will be cops involved), no drama (expect plenty of drama), no bullshit (yes, there will be bullshit). Chores will include helping bury the bodies out in the desert. Welcome to your new life inside a Sam Shepard play.
3. AD READS:
RED FLAG: “Open thinking” has a direct correlation to the term “glory hole.” No guests allowed over means a lot of one-on-one time with this thin naked guy – leaving you with nothing to do but stare at his junk day and night.
4. AD READS:
Phoenix at the ripe, tender age of 24. After deciding that Phoenix was a stinky shit-hole, I have decided to move to New York City. Why? So I can make millions of dollars and not have to post shit like this on Craigslist.
Anyway, so I landed this job with my company in NYC, and I have no fucking clue where to live. Honestly, I'm moving there in 1 week, so I don't give a shit if I have to sleep in your bathtub.
A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, clean and I won't bother any of your shit. If you leave shit out, I'm just like, "Oh fuck I better not mess with this shit, because it's not mine." I turn off lights. I clean toilets. Fuck it. I'll even cook for you. That's right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that shit in bearnaise. EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT. Don't eat meat? That's fucking FANTASTIC! I'll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your fucking socks off.
RED FLAG: Expect lots of high-fiving and overuse of the world “bromance.” With in days your new roommate will show you a sex tape he made with his ex-girlfriend (who has a restraining order out on him).
5. AD READS:
Free room and board for female only. Must love playing w dogs and be a competent cleaner, not looking to train someone!
Light housekeeping once a day plus one full clean up a week.
Im a 40 something divorced guy w no kids who works 2 jobs. Looking for a cool girl who loves dogs, good food and maybe a little ocd about living in a clean house!
Private room furnished w cable. shared bath, big back yard bbqs, friendly dogs welcome. NOTHING SEXUAL. I work in the restaurant business so work crazy hours. Amazing opportunity for the right person, bookkeeping skills could mean paid work if interested. Givers versus takers only please.
Must email or text pic, interviewing this week.
- do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
RED FLAG: Welcome to the world of prostitution!
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