Only The Stupid Rich Can Afford These Crazy Luxuries

We all know that having an absurd amount of money lets you do and see more than the average “drives a car from the mid 2000s and splurges once a week on a moderately priced Denny’s meal” citizen. There are the obvious splurges like wearing clothes covered in gold, driving a car covered in gold, and listening to the Kiiara hit "Gold" through headphones that are also covered in gold, but that’s just the tip of the gold covered ice berg. Here are 4 insane experiences that only large sums of money can buy.

Pilot A Real Life Avatar Robot Suit

That is a real life version of the mech suit from the 2009 James Cameron Pocahontas knockoff Avatar being piloted by the multibillionaire CEO of Amazon, Jeff Bezos. The suit cost $200 million to make, and though Jeff didn’t buy the suit, they wouldn't have asked him to pilot it if he didn't have more money than god. If you’re a poor person reading this, don’t worry. The stripped down retail model is only about $8.3 million dollars and it will be available in 2017. As we all know, anyone that settles for the cheaper retail model is a goddamn peasant.

Pay Sharon Stone To Kiss You

There was a time when Sharon Stone was considered one of the most beautiful women in the world. Kissing her was a joy only experienced by the very rich and the very handsome. Note, in 2003 she crossed “handsome” off of her dating requirements and agreed to put her lips up for auction. The lucky winner paid fifty thousand dollars and was able to kiss Sharon Stone for about 45 seconds.  That’s right, for more money than most of you make in a year, someone paid to kiss the same lips that kissed Joe Pesci. Totally worth it.

Buy A Town in Texas

If you’re tired of buying mansions, robot rides, and kisses from 90s-era movie stars, you could always do what wealthy insurance broker Bobby Cave did and buy a whole town. Albert, Texas was purchased by Cave in 2004 for about two hundred and sixteen thousand dollars. With a population that peaked at 50 residents in the 1920s and has since settled at around 7 residents, this is not a metropolis. It does have a tavern and dance hall though, which I don’t doubt have been covered in pro-Bobby Cave propaganda. Though there are no official reports of Cave giving himself a holiday and forcing the town’s residents to wear t-shirts with his face on them, we don’t doubt that it's in the works.

Write Your Name So Big That It Can Be Seen From Space

 

The previous items on this list are definitely luxuries set aside for the very rich, but to Sheikh Hamad Bin Hamdan Al Nahyan, they’re some real amateur shit. Hamad, who is part of the United Arab Emirates royal family, decided that he wanted his name written in big enough letters that it can be seen from the moon. Now, you would need a lot of land to write something so huge that it can be seen from 238,900 miles away, but Hamad owns an island (because of course he does) so he’ll have no problem finding room to sign his giant, definitely-compensating-for-something-name.  There are no exact figures on how much this global John Hancock cost, but we can all assume it was stupid expensive.