Transformers and GI Joe have both been huge hits despite the fact critics would rather be doused in boiling oil than experience them again, and of course they’ve been so successful, more are on the way. GI Joe: Retaliation features an even bigger cast including Bruce Willis and the Rock, and Transformers 4 is said to start an entirely new trilogy, once Michael Bay is done adapting another cartoon to film, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. With all this 80s and 90s nostalgia turning up on screen, we thought we’d propose a few more favorites from childhood we’d like to see made into movies. Why? Because kick ass explosions, that’s why.
Pro Stars was TV’s most thinly veiled marketing attempt ever, and that’s saying something. It featured Wayne Gretzky, Bo Jackson and Michael Jordan as super heroes who shared the same Jewish mother because cartoons in the early 90s didn’t need to make any sense whatsoever as long as they could sell cereal and action figures. And also Nikes, which was the main point of this show. However, it also featured Bo Jackson literally beating a man with a tree, which is amazing in every way. If we can’t get Steven Spielberg to get these three athletes to bring this show to life today, we’ve failed as a society.
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No one doesn’t like Thundercats, because it’s a show about space cats who fight a mummy. What more could a kid need in a TV show? And it featured Cheetara who may or may not have been a naked cat lady depending on how well the episode was drawn, as sometimes it just seemed like she had nothing on. Meow.
All that’s needed to make this a successful movie is Jonah Hill as Snarf, Scarlett Johansson as Cheetara and Tyler Perry as Panthro. Maybe cast Christian Bale as Lion-O. The movie would make millions.
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Arguably this has been remade about a thousand times over thanks to the insufferable Power Ranger franchise and probably about 100 other Japanese shows that have almost the exact same premise of small robots joining into a big robot to fight another big robot or monster but there’s a reason there have been so many shows like that – it’s an awesome idea. The execution often sucks, but who wouldn’t want to merge their Prius into a giant Prius monstrosity that can topple buildings if the situation called for it? So yeah. Voltron!
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Yes, this was made into a movie already but, just as with the Punisher, if you make a movie starring Dolph Lundgren, you’re allowed to pretend it never happened and try again. This time around a little more effort needs to be put in and maybe keep Billy Barty and his magic Casio keyboard out of it. Once that’s done, hire someone who can act. Literally anyone who can act. Include CG muscles if you need to, but come on. If the guy can act, the rest of the movie falls into place. Oh, and cast James Carville as Skeletor. Tell me I’m wrong on that choice.
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We’ve probably missed dozens of cartoons that would make some bad ass movies, so let us know in the comments. We’ll forward all suggestions on to our buddy Uwe Boll.