Americans Spent $180K On Poop On Black Friday

(Photo credit to Juliet Bennett Rylah/LAist)

Remember Black Friday?  Did you find any good deals?  According to 30,000 Americans did not find a good deal when they logged onto Cards Against Humanity and saw that the popular site was selling a $6 box of bullshit.  Apparently, despite very clear descriptions that this was an actual, literal box of feces sourced from a male cow, people didn’t believe it.

Cards Against Humanity, as you may know, is a pretty hilarious party game where you match bizarre questions or scenarios with equally bizarre answers.  It’s perverse and dark and amusing all at once, if you play it right.  It made people think that the poop being sold on the website must clearly be something else.  Something that wasn’t poop.  That, in turn, makes it so much more delightful that the site was, in fact, only selling poop.

While people on reddit debated about what it could be and how you can’t really send poop in the mail (FYI – you can, if you handle it correctly), the company managed to sell out of 30,000 orders of poop at $6 a pop.  Or plop.

LAist even shelled out for a poop of their own and discovered it’s a dried out turd in a bag that comes with a poop emoji pin.  It literally has no purpose whatsoever.  However, they also discovered that the poops are being resold on eBay for profit, making this potentially one of the most amazing consumer events of all time.

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For those interested in ordering poop online, it seems that Cards Against humanity is fresh out, but there are other poop-based endeavors one can enjoy if one is so inclined.  For instance, I Poop You offers up the poop of several species, including reindeer turds for the holidays!  Isn’t that great?

If you’re looking for something a little more industrious related to turds, Poo Poo Paper is one of a stunning number of sites that sells paper recycled from fibers found in the crap of animals like elephants and horses. Those animals have very high-fiber diets and their crap can be easily used as a pulp base for paper, it seems.  They mention numerous times on the site that the paper is odorless, in case you were wondering.  We dare you to lick an envelope!

EcoFaeBricks were designed a few years back and have won several awards for their ingenuity – basically bricks for buildings houses made from cow poop.  The bricks are lighter than traditional bricks and have more compression strength.  Basically they’re superior in every way to traditional stone bricks and you can keep getting more of them so long as you have a few cows around to help you out.

Odds are no one who spent $6 on poop from Cards Against Humanity has plans to make paper, build a house or anything particularly productive but hey, they helped make someone nearly $200,000 richer.  Hopefully the bull got a nice treat for his efforts.