25 Things You End Up Missing About School

Ian-Fortey by Ian-Fortey on Dec. 18, 2013

School is the bane of your existence from around Grade 2 when you start to realize this gig is permanent to sometime around your final year in a PhD course if you make it that far. It’s the man keeping you down with your parent’s permission plus detentions, homework, bullies and, eventually, a massive debt.  The final insult is they make you go for so long you get hooked then have to start paying. School is like heroin for your intellect.

And yet, when you’re all done, and you’re working for a living, and you’ll never, ever be in a classroom again, you can look back and realize what you’re missing out on.

  1. Recess



    Good lord, an authorized break in the day when you can just sit or run in circles if you so choose.  That’s amazing.
     
  2. The Cafeteria
     

    Some of that sloppy food is better than what you can make for yourself at home, even if it’s 50% sodium and cholesterol
     
  3. Hot teachers
     

    There’s something about being taught by someone you see every day who is also insanely hot that’s hard to get over
     
  4. Witnessing Social Segregation
     

    The jocks, the mean girls, the Goths, the emo kids, the scene kids, the bronies.  This is where it starts.  This is where people start trying to form identities and you can see it, like watching pack animals in the wild
     
  5. Tee Ball
     

    If they hadn’t invented this for children, they would have for drunks

     
  6. Dances
     

    Sure they were awkward at the time but later you can look back and be wistful for all the unintentional comedy or all the ways you probably could have hooked up but screwed up

     
  7. Parties
     

    You may have been a good kid who never did anything wrong underaged, but you didn’t have to be.

     
  8. MILFs
     

    The older you get, the less likely your friends are to have these and the creepier you are to call them this

     
  9. Frats/Sororities
     

    They’re not for everyone but they are a group of people your age who have an entire house to themselves all year long. 

     
  10. Spring Break
     

    If you do this when you’re 30, they send you to jail

     
  11. Summer
     

    It literally means nothing when you have a job.  Nothing!

     
  12. Extracurriculars
     

    Sports and clubs and a never ending stream of opportunities to meet an hang out with people who like all the stuff you do

     
  13. Learning
     

    Sounds stupid, but later it gets kind of exciting just to come across new and interesting stuff.  You get to do this all the time at school, you just never appreciate it

     
  14. Reality Detachment
     

    Have you seen movies about highschool?  They’re nothing like highschool, it’s stunning. This is the only time in your life when your world will be portrayed so wrongly so often
     
  15. The Cutting Edge
     

    Clothes, music, video games, crazy Russian narcotics, whatever is new and awesome, this is the time and place you’ll learn about it as it becomes a thing.  Later you’ll just fall behind and never care again

     
  16. Peer Pressure
     

    At least people liked you enough to want you to break the law.  Once you have a job they just want you to work late.

     
  17. Irresponsibility
     

    Didn’t get your work done at school?  Well that’s a detention and maybe a lecture.  Don’t get your work done at NASA and space explodes.

     
  18. Co-ed Dorms
     

    Here, teenager who no longer has parents anywhere nearby, live in this building with members of the opposite sex who likewise have no parental influence.

     
  19. Scholarships


    The only time someone will look at you and say “yeah, you’re pretty awesome” and just throw money at you for it so you can keep being awesome at whatever you’re awesome at.


     
  20. Group Work


    Yes, everyone hates group work but, looking back, it’s great in that it prepares you for how much more you’re going to hate it at a job


     
  21. Bagged Lunch


    There’s a good chance your mom used to pack lunch for you at school.  At the office there’s a good chance, even if you do bring a lunch, some intern is going to eat half of it before you get to it.


     
  22. Pandering


    The world caters to your demographic.  Fast food companies, clothing designers and Hollywood know that as a child, you will force your parents to spend money on shit you want.  You are more important at this age than anyone over 35 will ever be.


     
  23. Social Interaction


    School lets you spend each and every day surrounded by people in your age group, making friends and being human.  Cubicle work will murder this.


     
  24. Rebellion


    Telling off a teacher is so much more satisfying and less financially damaging than doing it to your boss


     
  25. Firsts


    Chances are your first kiss, first party, first drink, first girlfriend/boyfriend, first big trip to somewhere new, first time having sex, first everything will happen during your school career.  Everything starts here.  Here’s hoping your “real life” at work is anywhere near as exciting.