25 Reasons to Love Krampus, the Demon of Christmas

Ian-Fortey by Ian-Fortey on Dec. 09, 2013

Are you familiar with Krampus?  Our friends throughout Germany, Austria, Bavaria and beyond cooked him up as a sort of counter to Saint Nicholas.  He’s basically a Christmas monster that shows up with Santa Claus and while Santa bings gifts to good boys and girls, Krampus punishes bad kids and if they’re particularly bad, they get stuffed in his sack and taken back to the lair.  What happens in the lair?  Ha ha, festive treats!  Or maybe he just eats them, I dunno.

  1. He’s the Satan of Christmas
  2. He’s proof Germans can’t enjoy themselves
  3. The first syllable of his name is Kramp
  4. Few other modern beliefs really support the insertion of children into sacks
  5. It’s funnier if kids go to sleep on Christmas Eve in abject fear and uncertainty
  6. Krampus sounds like cram ass
  7. Christmas really needs more villains
  8. More kids eaten by Krampus means more presents for everyone else
  9. Good to see minorities getting jobs
  10. Keeps the child-sized sack makers in business
  11. Shames other holiday villains like the Easter Badger and the Arbor Day Boggart
  12. Gives awesome Secret Santa gifts
  13. May be an exception to Rule 34
  14. Everyone loves a horned, goat demon
  15. The following 11pictures (which makes this work out to 25 if you don’t count this entry. Word)

19 comments
Daniel-Otis-494
Daniel-Otis-494 User

The Krampus predates Christianity.  It wasn't invented as a counter to St. Nicholas

David McKale
David McKale

Christmas does not need more villians. Its the only time where everyone is compassionate for once.

Chris Hogan
Chris Hogan

Christmas does have villains....they're called militant atheists and progressives.

BlankTitanic
BlankTitanic UserTop Commenter

So, basically Krampus is a jew?

Tyler Waddell
Tyler Waddell

Jack Frost is all we need...and that creepy elf. Forget this guy!

Leo Beltran
Leo Beltran

Sounds like the demon of the female menstrual cycle.

Dan Schooling
Dan Schooling

I was just telling my buddy about Krampus the other day. Best character from Christmas.

TonyHill
TonyHill User

Christmas is long gone, however I presume Selita Ebanks is trying to show us what a great Santa girl we lost. http://tiny.cc/1i5t7w

COHockey
COHockey User

Funny how you can correlate this mythological dumbass to the real corporate elite dumbasses. Who else is making more this year but mysteriously has LESS for Christmas?



Matt-Kim-806
Matt-Kim-806 User

I'm most weirder out by the Ren and Stimpy version of krumpus taking away bart denis and some S&M fan