If you’ve never donated an organ to a dying child or money to the Cancer Research Institute or helped an old lady across the street, now is the time to absolve yourself of a lifetime of selfishness with one simple selfless act.
Retweet this tweet:
Original tweet here
Carter Williamson is a resident of Reno, Nevada, a voracious consumer of Wendy’s chicken nuggets, and on track to break the record for most retweets of all time—a record currently held by dance icon Ellen DeGeneres.
Eighteen million might seem like a lot, until you remember that tweets are worthless, retweets are equally worthless, and Twitter itself is actually worth negative money.
Now, a six-piece chicken nuggets from Wendy’s has an average price of $1.79. Assuming this kid ate them twice a day without fail, which is a low estimate of how many unlimited free servings of nuggets a teenager could demolish daily, that’s an annual total of $1,306.70. That figure divided by eighteen million is .000072, which is the dollar value of each tweet should this kid actually manage to pull this off, and also .000072 cents more valuable than the average tweet, which is 0.000000.
Of course, there’s a hashtag (#nuggsforcarter), which is taking off in popularity…
…so if you’re trying to drum up attention for the GoFundMe you’ve set up to pay for your fiancé’s chemotherapy, go ahead and hashtag it #nuggsforcarter.
(Artists rendering of how to exploit the #nuggsforcarter hashtag)
In case this strikes you as an ironic hashtag campaign, it’s important to note what sets it apart from #bringbackourgirls or #yesallwomen or #kony2012 and almost every single hashtag campaign of the Twitter era is that this campaign is actually guaranteed to be effective. All this guy need to do is get to 18 million retweets and he is guaranteed to get the nuggets, whereas no amount of retweeting, grovelling, self-flagellation, or virtue signaling will EVER satisfy the participants in your average SJW hashtag.
So if you want to make a difference, here’s your chance. Quite possibly your only one.