18 Kickass GIFs of Jackie Chan Kicking Ass for Jackie Chan’s 61st Birthday

The seemingly fearless and almost invincible movie star not only knows how to make a fight look good on camera but he takes it an extra mile by performing some of the most dangerous stunts ever captured on film without a net, a stunt double or an ounce of worry about his personal safety. According to Kotaku, he suffered a serious eye injury while filming “The Medallion,” dislocated his cheekbone on the set of “Police Story 3: Super Cop” and gave himself spine damage twice while shooting “Project A” and “Policy Story.” The worst has to be for the 1986 film “The Armor of God” in which he suffered a skull fracture that caused a bone cave-in behind his left ear and severe brain bleeding. And it was all so you wouldn’t complain back to the screen, “Man, that looks so fake.” 

Now that Chan is 61-years-old today, we put together a list of the most kickass moments of the “Drunken Master” in GIF form. 

1.

Chan literally put his balls on the line so you could be entertained. And have you ever said “Thank you” to him even once? I didn’t think so. 

2.

I’d would need a year of physical and psychological recovery if we performed this stunt. I’d also have to get our clothes and the hose dry cleaned to get the stench of fear urine out of them. 

3.

Would you almost let yourself get decapitated for the sake of entertaining someone? We mean when you’re sober. 

4.

This is how a real man “does windows.” 

5.

We couldn’t move that fast if we were on fire. 

6.

Imagine if your waiter could do. You’d be so impressed that you wouldn’t mind the fact that you’ve got scalding, second degree burns over most of your body from all the clam chowder he spilled on you. 

7.

Jackie Chan turn anything into a defensive weapon, even a table. He could easily paralyze you with a handful of Jello. 

8.

Only Jackie Chan could think of a way to use a fridge as weapon without dropping it on someone’s head a la “Looney Tunes.” 

9.

Any man who can make his ass reverse places in the gravitational field with his head without being able to kick someone in the face should consider themselves privileged. 

10.

Even if you’ve mastered the flying head kick and the ability to rappel from a building with a firehouse, you should still be able to do the simple moves like the face push, the nutshot and the two-fingered eyepoke. 

11.

Jackie Chan took Michael Jackson’s anti-gravity lean and made it useful in combat. Imagine what he could do with the moonwalk. 

12.

WARNING: Don’t watch this GIF for prolonged periods of time if you’ve just experienced a hernia. 

13.

Sometimes in order to kick some ass, you have to get your ass kicked. In the other hand, Jackie totally just made this pane of glass his bitch WITH HIS FACE. 

14.

It’s not necessary to do a flying kick to collapse someone’s windpipe but it makes for a way better story than just hitting them in the neck with a shovel. 

15.

A great fighter always knows when not to fight and when to duck. 

16.

This double decker bus stunt is impressive and thanks to American drivers love of sudden braking is why we can’t have double decker busses in America. 

17.

This is the only time that roller skating has ever been cool. 

18.

Even Jackie Chan knows not to punch a lady in the boobies. That’s not an honorable way to win a fight and there are much easier and most cost efficient ways of getting to touch one. 

Follow Danny Gallagher on Twitter @thisisdanngy