Toys are more just things designed to keep children entertained for as long as possible while their parents do things that the kids will learn about later in life. They are also ways to escape to your childhood when you’re alone, frustrated and wishing you were not a kid because you’re not able to do the things your parents did when you were playing with them.
If you grew up in a household in the right tax bracket or a parent who knew how to sneak things out of toy stores without triggering the store alarm, you probably had a room full of brightly colored playthings. Then, your parents just chucked them away when you reached an age where playing with “other things” was deemed to be cooler. It’s a shame because you were sitting on a proverbial goldmine. These days, some of the rarer toys and collectibles can sell for prices with four, five or seven digits.
1. Garbage Pail Kids Trading Cards: $6,500+
Garbage Pail Kids cards were awesome because they were something your parents didn’t want you to have that didn’t involve seedy drug dealers or break federal laws. A full set of the original series can easily net you over $6,500.
2. Kenner Star Wars Toys: $17,000
The “Star Wars” franchise has reached such a fever pitch that it’s amazing how much money fans will pay to prove their love to the series, even after George Lucas gave them three prequels that only served to teach them that hearts can be broken. One collector has over 80 action figures put out by Kenner when George Lucas made good “Star Wars” movies and they are asking for at least $17,000 for the entire set.
3. GameBoy Color: $2,000
When the GameBoy hit the store shelves, kids literally thought they were living in the future. Now, Apple has turned being able to play advanced games on a small device seem as mundane as doing your taxes. The mind-blowing GameBoy Color, the device that brought gaming from a puke green screen into glorious color, is now being sold up to $2,000 for some of the rarer units.
4. Sealed Copy of MarioKart 64: $2,500
MarioKart is such a beloved franchise for Nintendo that it was able to turn the disappointing WiiU into a console that might have a chance of not becoming the new Virtual Boy. The franchise is so popular that even less advanced versions of the game still sell for big bucks like the Nintendo 64 version that’s going for $2,500 for a single copy.
5. Pokemon Cards: $10,000
Pokemon is one of those unique toy lines that only a child or a very drugged up hallucinogen enthusiast can appreciate and enjoy. Some of the rarer cards used in the games such as this Raichu card is selling for $10,000 on eBay.
6. Hot Wheels: $6,400
It’s hard to know how many Hot Wheels one boy can own in a lifetime because there are so many of them and some are worth so much that we’d rather not think about the super expensive ones we probably tried to flush in the toilet when we were six. This mistake from the “Monster Jam” series is going for $6,400 online just because Mattel put the wrong model in the wrong box.
7. Stretch Armstrong: $16,000
Stretch Armstrong creeps me out a bit. Sure he’s an iconic toy beloved by millions but he’s basically a repurposed sex toy modeled into the kind of man that most women would probably think about when they are having their “playtime.” A complete set of Stretch Armstrong toys in their original boxes are on sale right now for the low, low price of $16,000.
8. Voltron Action Figures: $10,000
Everything about Voltron was just the coolest. It’s a team of robotic lions who form together to create a giant, even more awesome robot. If they come somehow work dinosaurs and Chuck Norris into the storyline, it would be the greatest toy of all time. If you’ve still got the full set of five combinable toys, you can net an easy $10,000 from a wealthy collector.
9. Nintendo Game & Watch: $2,500
If you weren’t lucky enough to have a Nintendo when you were a kid, your parents probably tried to buy your love with one of the smaller and cheaper LCD games from the “Game & Watch” series. If you still have one and didn’t throw it back in their face because they refused to buy you an NES, you can make an easy $2,500.
10. Disney Cars Duplo Sets: $19,977
Not every toy that’s worth a monthly house payment for a McMansion came from the distant past. LEGO released a set of Duplo blocks from the “Cars” movies and those complete sets are selling for almost $20,000.
11. GI Joe 1987 Defiant: $13,000
Kids, don’t judge “GI Joe” from the worthless, modern remakes. They were an epic squadron of true American heroes back in the 80s who taught us important lessons about fighting the good fight, why “knowing is half the battle” and the need to buy every toy they ever produced. The rarest is this “GI Joe” space shuttle set called the Defiant that’s worth at least $13,000.
12. Princess Ty Beanie Baby: $200,000
Beanie Babies were a massive, addictive waste of time, money and sanity. Kids had to collect as many as possible and those who didn’t are still in therapy to this very day. One of the rarest dolls in the collection is the Princess TV Beanie Baby that’s selling for the rock bottom price of $200,000.
13. Starting Lineup Figures: $15,000
Of course, if you were a boy in the 90s, you couldn’t let your friends see you and your Beanie Baby collection. You might as well put on a dress and spend the rest of the fourth grade hiding from plain sight. Kenner released a line of more masculine collectibles with their “Starting Lineup” figures that celebrated the day’s sports heroes like this Joe Montana figure that’s currently on sale for $15,000.
14. Little Tykes Go-n-Grow Riders: $11,950
We’re not sure this toddler toy is worth almost $12,000 or why someone would fork over that much money for a toy they can’t even play with unless babies are allowed to play the lottery now or something. The only logical explanation is there there’s some kind of drug smuggling involved in this transaction.
15. “M.A.S.K.” Boulder Hill: $9,600
If you’re not old enough to remember the awesome line of “M.A.S.K.” toys, you missed out on some of the coolest toys of all time and you probably have hair growing in some uncomfortable places by now. The “Boulder Hill” playlet can sell for around $10,000 each if you managed to resist the urge to open the box and actually play with it.
16. Mattel Battlestar Galactica Landram: $8,000
If you’re old enough to remember the original “Battlestar Galactica” and the line of toys it spawned, we envy you and not because you’ll get to collect social security before we do. They are worth quite a lot of you still have the original box it came in like this “Landram” that’s selling for $8,000.
17. Stadium Events for the NES: $100,000
It’s safe to assume that the rarest game on the most beloved video game console of all time would cost a pretty penny but whatever number that’s in your head right now probably isn’t high enough. There’s an eBay auction for an unopened copy of the game and the bids are reaching $100,000.
Follow Danny Gallagher on Twitter @thisisdannyg