Every year the proud Americans of Michigan hold a ritual known as The Port Huron Float Down. This celebration of all things ‘Merican involves getting in an inner tube and ritualistically consuming mass amounts of Budweiser, PBR and Miller High Life as is custom in their culture.
When illegals bring booze you let them stay, right?
The American revelers then float down the St. Clair River, an international border waterway separating America from Ontario, Canada. However this year it appears they just made Canada great again.
Strong winds allegedly pushed about 1,500 drunk, floating Americans across the river and into the foreign land of Sarnia, Ontario thus making them party refugees. The Port Huron Float Down ended with everyone floating on down… To Canada.
Some Canadian authorities were not happy and wanted to stop the influx of partiers before they could all be vetted properly. Hopefully some of the intoxicated “immigrants” will be taken in by Canadians who can share with them some Labatt Blues and Molsons so their buzz doesn’t wear off.
They came with just the suntan lotion on their backs.
The Canadian Coast Guard reported that some would be party refugees were terrified of leaving America and landing in Canada without their passports. So they jumped overboard and tried to swim BACK to the USA. Not wanting a bunch of drunk people swimming across a river, the kindly Canadians assured them they would not be in trouble and scooped them out of the water.
It wasn’t ALL nice as hardline Canadian authorities wanted to TAKE BACK THEIR COUNTRY and make those partying Americans go back to where they came from. The Americans neighbors to the north quickly developed a plan to deport the mass of unwanted illegals… by gathering some air conditioned shuttle busses to transport their asses back across the border, telling them to “have a nice day, eh?”
The organizers of the Port Huron Float Down even posted a thank you note to Canadian authorities for their help in returning the ‘Mericans to the home land. They said in a Facebook post: ““We want to express our gratitude to the Canadian Authorities for their assistance and understanding with the floaters who’ve unintentionally been forced to the Canadian shoreline. You’ve shown us true kindness and what it means to be amazing neighbors!”
Americans leaving floaters in the water. Typical.
Looking forward to the upcoming Rio Grande Float Down, hope it goes as smoothly as this if there is a strong wind.
Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney