15 of the Worst Cereals Ever

Break.com Staff by Break.com Staff on Feb. 15, 2013

Cereal seems pretty easy.  Something crunchy, some sugar, maybe a marshmallow and bam, breakfast is served.  But sometimes it gets screwed up bad.  Real bad.

1. Sir Grapefellow

Imagine a crunchy, fake grape cereal brought to you by a remarkably fancy pilot.  Are you hungry yet?  No.

2. King Vitaman

Hey look kids, we didn’t get a cool cartoon spokesman, we got the guy who keeps telling you he has puppies in his van.

3. Punch Crunch

Captain Crunch cuts your mouth up but does it taste like fruit punch?  It sure does.

4. Bigg Mixx

Wow, it’s like you swept the floor after making all the other cereals and dumped it into a box.  Delicious.

5. Kellogg’s OJs

Do you know why there’s no orange flavored cereal on the market today? Because no one wants crunchy ass orange cereal.

6. Yummy Mummy

Count Chocula’s red headed step child, Yummy Mummy was the only cereal that had the balls to name itself after what is ostensibly a MILF.

7. Kiss Krunch

What band would you most like to feel in your mouth?  Yeah.

8. New Kids on the Block

OK, last chance, what band would you most like to feel in your mouth?

9. Breakfast with Barbie

Pink cereal bits shaped like hearts and cars.  Make ‘em nice and shallow at a young age.

10. Urkel Os

Because the worst TV character of all time should be a cereal.

11. Prince of Thieves

“What do kids love? Cereal and Kevin Costner?” – cereal executive, shortly before losing his job.

12. Crazy Cow

It was coated in strawberry milk mix because gross. And also invokes fears of Mad Cow, always a good sign.

13. Crunchy Loggs

Oh God yes, a log.  A brown, crunchy log. 

14. Fruit Brute

Yummy Mummy’s defective cousin, it’s the fruity werewolf because why not?

15. Liquid Cereal

Arguably there’s no way this is cereal someone spit into a can and yet try to get that picture out of your head.

17 comments
Jeff-Lysiak-661
Jeff-Lysiak-661 User

The KISS cereal never existed... it was created by a fan who sells them on eBay

wofat50
wofat50

this is why adults are so fucked up today...we ate this shit as kids.

Warbull
Warbull

WHERE IS GORILLA MUNCH!!!! its a picture of 2 apes fuking on the box. it deserves to be honored here with the other greats

EssentialNeed
EssentialNeed

I'd like to try any of these except the last one... Canned cereal, that's just wrong!

KEVIN_224
KEVIN_224

What? No "Body Buddies" on this list?

soxfan3
soxfan3

I remember Sir Grapefellow...made my poop green

vold
vold

Yummy Mummy was the bomb.

Mr_Tideman
Mr_Tideman

Mueslix should be right in there. It sounds like a cattle disease.

The-Langolier
The-Langolier

Urkel was so not the worst tv character of all time. I only have fond memories of family matters.

TwinsenLBA
TwinsenLBA

#11 - is that a bowl of dícks?

warrioricp
warrioricp

y? there was no frosted flakes. even chocolate.

chickmunk49
chickmunk49

Would Asian's cereal be rice crispies then?

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