Cereal seems pretty easy. Something crunchy, some sugar, maybe a marshmallow and bam, breakfast is served. But sometimes it gets screwed up bad. Real bad.
1. Sir Grapefellow
Imagine a crunchy, fake grape cereal brought to you by a remarkably fancy pilot. Are you hungry yet? No.
2. King Vitaman
Hey look kids, we didn’t get a cool cartoon spokesman, we got the guy who keeps telling you he has puppies in his van.
3. Punch Crunch
Captain Crunch cuts your mouth up but does it taste like fruit punch? It sure does.
4. Bigg Mixx
Wow, it’s like you swept the floor after making all the other cereals and dumped it into a box. Delicious.
5. Kellogg’s OJs
Do you know why there’s no orange flavored cereal on the market today? Because no one wants crunchy ass orange cereal.
6. Yummy Mummy
Count Chocula’s red headed step child, Yummy Mummy was the only cereal that had the balls to name itself after what is ostensibly a MILF.
7. Kiss Krunch
What band would you most like to feel in your mouth? Yeah.
8. New Kids on the Block
OK, last chance, what band would you most like to feel in your mouth?
9. Breakfast with Barbie
Pink cereal bits shaped like hearts and cars. Make ‘em nice and shallow at a young age.
10. Urkel Os
Because the worst TV character of all time should be a cereal.
11. Prince of Thieves
“What do kids love? Cereal and Kevin Costner?” – cereal executive, shortly before losing his job.
12. Crazy Cow
It was coated in strawberry milk mix because gross. And also invokes fears of Mad Cow, always a good sign.
13. Crunchy Loggs
Oh God yes, a log. A brown, crunchy log.
14. Fruit Brute
Yummy Mummy’s defective cousin, it’s the fruity werewolf because why not?
15. Liquid Cereal
Arguably there’s no way this is cereal someone spit into a can and yet try to get that picture out of your head.