Remember when you used to be the weird one on Christian Mingles – and none of the women you met truly understood your love of dressing up like a clown or wearing a diaper that needed changing? Oh how we now laugh! The InterWeb now has a niche dating site for whatever type of freak you may be. There is even something for those anti-technology folks, The Amish. Rest assured, if you’re into something strange – you better believe there is a dating site for you!
1) Farmers Only
As the name applies, this is a dating site for farmers (only). The site’s tagline: "City folks just don't get it!" What don’t city folks get? Is that some weird code word for some sexual farm person practice consented by two grown adults surrounded by hay? This is one of the few online dating sites where it’s perfectly acceptable to have your profile photo taken with a cow. So fuck off city single folks!
Now, make sure you got the name of this STD dating site correct; it’s Herpes Passion and not Passion For Herpes – which would have an entirely different connotation. Usually having a case of herpes is something to hide from people on a dating sites – this site highlights herpes like a badge of cold sore honor.
This is different (or very much the same). Find Your Face Mate – is a dating site that matches people together who have similar facial features. So basically, if you’re looking to bone someone that looks just like yourself – this would be the place where you would go.
4) Clown Dating
Have you ever wanted to date a clown? Then this is the site for you! Or perhaps you’re trying to find someone who can fill the shoes of your last girlfriend – Clown Dating not only fulfills that prospect; but has even bigger (and floppier) shoes that can be filled. As the site states: “If you are a Clown, a Clown Wannabe or simply a Clown Lover you have come to the right place.” One day, you and your new love can have dozens of kids…and they will all get out of a really, really tiny car
Let’s keep this relationship brief – or diapered for that matter. In case you don’t get the clever wordplay, Diaper Mates is a dating site for people who like wearing diapers…and are looking for someone to take care of them just like mommy would. (Ewwwww.) This is the site where you could get away with non-ironically using the pickup line: “I’m wet and need a diaper change please” or “I will be the first one to admit that I really like to fill my diapers and wear them like that. Wet messy diapers feel so nice. For the past few months I have been accidently filling my diapers!”
You can pry my dating quest from my cold dead hands…and while you’re at it…my gun as well. When your heart is open carry you can’t conceal your flaming love; that’s why there’s an entire Internet dating niche dedicated to single Americans – who are passionate about romance, guns, and the 2nd Amendment. For these patriots, Cupid’s arrow takes the form of armor-piercing shrapnel to the heart, proving that love can unexpectedly strike you down…like a stray bullet.
Tired of staggering after the person of your dreams? This is the site to go to when you’re looking for a woman with….MORE BRAINS! As their tagline goes: “The apocalypse doesn’t have to be lonely!”
Finally a dating site that’s all business in front, and all party in the back! Find that mull-man or mull-woman of your dreams!
Okay, you’re blowing my mind! Is this for Amish singles with high-speed connections? (It must be for Amish Internet users with dialup.) You’re Amish. You have the Internet. And you want to date. The site suggests: “Perhaps include how many kids you would like to have, hobbies you'd like to share and things of that nature.” Other hobbies: raising a barn, growing one of those Abe Lincoln beards, and butter churning…
First a few disclaimers; this isn’t a site for swingers who like to hook up and find a hoofed third for a threesome. This is also not a dating site for those seeking to have a relationship with a horse. How horses fit into the equation; this is a dating site for those who have mutual and non-sexual relationships with horses.
Follow Harmon Leon on Twitter @HarmonLeon