10 Ways To Survive A Haunted House Horror Movie!

Haunted houses are scary, right? Through the years, cinema (movies, film, etc..) has had numerous depictions of houses, so haunted, they should be taken off the housing market…IMMEDIATELY! Want to survive a haunted house? Let’s take a page from the movies and look for what would be a red flag and we should avoid.

Amityville Horror

If your dream house is full of flies and has bleeding walls; suddenly  

tells you to “Get Out!” – it would be best to get the hell out of there…But just remember to go back for the family dog.

The Shining

The Shining is more of a haunted hotel rather than a haunted house. Let’s say this entry fits under haunted structure. So, if you move into a place where an old caretaker named Grady ended up killing his family with an ax – it’s best to find another winter locale to write your book of rambling about Jack being a dull boy. And, always, steer clear of Room 237!

Poltergeist

Plain and simple – don’t move into a house that’s built on top of an old cemetery. Period. Otherwise you have to get the old midget lady to help you pull your daughter out of the TV. And don’t get me started about creepy clowns!

Beetlejuice

Easy rule to remember here: Don’t say ‘Beetlejuice!’ Don’t say ‘Beetlejuice!’ Don’t say ‘Beetlejuice!’

House on Haunted Hill

Okay, if you’re house is located on a place called ‘Haunted Hill’ – maybe invest elsewhere in real estate. Otherwise, there’s going to be a lot of screaming, a lot of monster hands reaching towards behind open doors, and a walking skeleton doing some sort of walking skeleton dance.

Also, never take up an invitation from an eccentric millionaire to spend the night in a haunted house- especially if that eccentric millionaire is Vincent Price. Hurry or you’ll be late for your own funeral.

 

Paranormal Activity

Best not to set up that video camera in your home while you’re sleeping – what you don’t know wont hurt you – and keep the energy positive so the demon can’t feed off your bad vibes.

 

The Changeling

If you find yourself stalked by an unmanned wheelchair – GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE! Chances are it means that the ghost of a murdered boy is not going to make your house feel like a home.

Skeleton Key

Always stay away from the attic room that can only be opened by a skeleton key. And when in doubt – use the mirrors to see the ghosts.

 

The Legend of Hell House

Avoid any place known as the “Mount Everest of haunted houses.” Especially if the first owner, perverted millionaire Emeric Belasco, disappeared without a trace. For sake of your sanity – pray it isn’t true!

Ju-On: The Grudge

Creepy ghost children with hair covering their face- who take up residence in your house – means it’s time to AirBnB the fuck out of the place. Get the hell out of there – your house hates you!

 

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