10 Of The Most Hilarious Conspiracy Theories

Mark-Potts by Mark-Potts on Apr. 11, 2013

The Public Polling Policy Institute released new poll results showing that your political affiliation plays a role in your conspiracy theory beliefs. Republicans tend to believe in conspiracy theories more often and with more fervor even when it doesn't make sense while Democrats really don't care or have a viable opinion (hey, it's just like real politics)!

But no matter what your political beliefs are, I think we can all agree that these 10 conspiracy theories are some of the best and weirdest.

Stephen King Killed John Lennon

Author Steven Lightfoot believes John Lennon was politically assassinated. Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, and Stephen King, the actual shooter, are to blame. Mark David Chapman was simply a hired lookalike meant to take the fall. I'm not really sure why the government would do this, but let's blame it on Yoko like we do everything else.

 

Aliens Landed In Roswell In 1947

This is one we all know and love. A UFO crashed in Roswell, NM in 1947 with as many as eight aliens on board, some dead, some alive, some still trying to figure out where the blue meth was.

 

Tupac Isn't Dead

Tupac, arguably the most famous rapper at the time, super rich, enjoying life, partying all the time, getting any woman he wanted, decided it would be best to fake his death and live in some small, remote town in some boring part of the world in complete anonymity. Right...

 

The Philadelphia Experiment

In October 1943 at the Philadelphia Naval Shipyard, the US government did a top secret test that rendered the US Navy destroyer Eldridge invisible. But the experiment went wrong causing the ship to travel through space and time, reappearing at sea. Several sailors were badly injured when their bodies intertwined with the ship during the teleportation. This might be complete bullshit, but it's awesome.

 

The Denver Airport Is A Secret Military Establishment

Rumor has it, this airport is a secret base full of underground tunnels, jail cells, and science labs for the Illuminati, New World Order, or the Reptoids (more on them next). While none of this can be verified with actual facts, it can be proven that this airport is huge and sort of a fucking nightmare to navigate. However, I did purchase an autographed Chuck Palahniuk book there years ago, so it's a wash for me.

 

The World Is Being Governed By Reptiles

BBC Reporter David Icke believes that alien reptitles are running the world. Also, 9/11 was their big plan to enslave the human race. And George W. Bush is a reptile. And so is Barack Obama. They came from the constellation Draco. They also believe Lizzy Mcguire was better than Hannah Montana. I don't know. Nothing makes sense.

 

The Moon Landing Was Fake

In a race to beat the Russians to the moon, the United States faked the landing. Buzz Aldrin can properly express our feelings towards these people:

 

Nazis Live In Antarctica With UFOs And Aliens

Rumor has it, the Nazis were constructing UFOs, possibly with help from aliens. At the end of the war, when the Nazi regime was falling, these UFOs were transported to secret bases in Antarctica where they still operate today, probably just flying around and looking at penguins and being really, really bored.

 

Global Warming Doesn't Exist or Global Warming Exists

Depending on who you ask, global warming is either a hoax invented by hippies and pot scientists hellbent on destroying capitalism OR global warming exists and evil politicians are willing to kill the earth in an effort to get rich. Seriously, there is no middle ground.

 

Wingdings Predicted 9/11

When Wingdings was first introduced in 1993, typing "NYC" turned up those symbols you see, perhaps meaning it was okay to kill Jews. Microsoft said it was purely coincidental and changed it. However, if you type in "Q33NY," you get what looks like a plane flying into two buildings. So in summary: people believe that a pointless and shitty font predicted 9/11. That's absurd. What moron would... wait. Look what just happened when I typed this in!

 

- Mark (follow on twitter)

56 comments
Lorrie-Bensky-Smith-434
Lorrie-Bensky-Smith-434 User

You say "Don't be mean", but state it's Republicans who believe these ridiculous theories? You CLEARLY are degrading Reps. Here's a theory for you. Liberals=HATE!

Lorrie-Bensky-Smith-434
Lorrie-Bensky-Smith-434

You say "Don't be mean", but state it's Republicans who believe these ridiculous theories? You CLEARLY are degrading Reps. Here's a theory for you. Liberals=HATE!

rockdrumer
rockdrumer Top Commenter

No one on break really cares.. but Global warming is already considered a real thing. It IS actually happening. But the current debate is more about if humans are the ones responsible for it or not and, the rate that it is going, it will probably take a couple of hundred or even thousand years to really see major changes in the climate.

rockdrumer
rockdrumer

No one on break really cares.. but Global warming is already considered a real thing. It IS actually happening. But the current debate is more about if humans are the ones responsible for it or not and, the rate that it is going, it will probably take a couple of hundred or even thousand years to really see major changes in the climate.

gonzagylot
gonzagylot

Maybe a psychopath, but also probably a brilliant psychopath who has turned some paranoid, manic, bipolar episode into a whole religion that many people check out and pay about $25 for any of his products. The guy has made a little empire out of his stupid ass theories.

Andrew-Miller-412
Andrew-Miller-412

Calling David Icke a BBC reporter is insulting to the BBC. David Icke is a bizarre psychopath.

mick903
mick903 User

Americans are never going to the moon, if they go, why not go back

mick903
mick903

Americans are never going to the moon, if they go, why not go back

COHockey
COHockey User

If you DONT think our government is lying about 9/11, THEN YOU DONT KNOW THE FACTS!!! YouTube "Loose Change" and then make your own damn mind. The way things were handled and how important people died warrant extreme suspicion on what 9/11 REALLY was. Otherwise, keep your head in the sand and believe everything is allllright.

COHockey
COHockey

If you DONT think our government is lying about 9/11, THEN YOU DONT KNOW THE FACTS!!! YouTube "Loose Change" and then make your own damn mind. The way things were handled and how important people died warrant extreme suspicion on what 9/11 REALLY was. Otherwise, keep your head in the sand and believe everything is allllright.

Buttrocket-McGee
Buttrocket-McGee User

Break is Awesome! Oh wait, that's also a conspiracy theory.

Buttrocket-McGee
Buttrocket-McGee

Break is Awesome! Oh wait, that's also a conspiracy theory.

urkkish
urkkish User

"decided it would be best to fake his death and live in some small, remote town in some boring part of the world in complete anonymity. Right..." Dave Chappelle decided that instead of a 55 million dollar TV show, he'd rather live in Yellow Springs Ohio and do free stand-up acts at small venues in the local area.

urkkish
urkkish

"decided it would be best to fake his death and live in some small, remote town in some boring part of the world in complete anonymity. Right..." Dave Chappelle decided that instead of a 55 million dollar TV show, he'd rather live in Yellow Springs Ohio and do free stand-up acts at small venues in the local area.

arrogant
arrogant

911 an Inside Job should be up there. Those peeple are fkn crazy

Mike-Emmons-39
Mike-Emmons-39 UserTop Commenter

an in depth review, well done break. [isnt sarcasm fun?]

Mike-Emmons-39
Mike-Emmons-39

an in depth review, well done break. [isnt sarcasm fun?]

Denu187
Denu187 User

You wouldn't want aliens to be exposed, otherwise some perv would probably have sex with an assari and make blue sqiddly diddly people.

Denu187
Denu187

You wouldn't want aliens to be exposed, otherwise some perv would probably have sex with an assari and make blue sqiddly diddly people.

wecanseeyou
wecanseeyou User

It can all be true or false dosen't matter our government will lie eater way?!$%&$$$$

wecanseeyou
wecanseeyou

It can all be true or false dosen't matter our government will lie eater way?!$%&$$$$

DoucheVadar
DoucheVadar User

Global Warming is far less dangerous than Global Cooling. So even if the planet is warming up, STFU and enjoy the palm trees in Canada before the world is one big F'n Glacier. BTW, Al Gore is a liar who just wants a podium.

DoucheVadar
DoucheVadar

Global Warming is far less dangerous than Global Cooling. So even if the planet is warming up, STFU and enjoy the palm trees in Canada before the world is one big F'n Glacier. BTW, Al Gore is a liar who just wants a podium.

gonzagylot
gonzagylot User

Maybe a psychopath, but also probably a brilliant psychopath who has turned some paranoid, manic, bipolar episode into a whole religion that many people check out and pay about $25 for any of his products. The guy has made a little empire out of his stupid ass theories.

DoucheVadar
DoucheVadar User

Learn something, Google something before commenting. Ass.

The-Langolier
The-Langolier UserTop Commenter

More like, what's the point of going back.

Aggies77
Aggies77

we have and are going back, noone cares about the second guy to do anything.

DoucheVadar
DoucheVadar

Learn something, Google something before commenting. Ass.

Aggies77
Aggies77

we have and are going back, noone cares about the second guy to do anything.

THX-1138
THX-1138 User

OK it was a conspiracy. What do you want to do about it? It's always the same thing with conspiracy theorists: "Obama hired the Taliban to fly planes into the Twin Towers to cover up the truth about the fake moon landings and to push ahead gun control legislation that will obscure the fact that BO is not a citizen." But when pressed for solutions the only thing they continue to do is run around like chicken little hollering about how the sky was falling. We don't need theories. We ne

davidnay
davidnay User

Loose Change is full of holes. If you want the truth, youtube "9/11 Blueprint for Truth".

RenoDRZ
RenoDRZ User

Most people like to keep their fantasy world safe instead of waking up to cold reality. Cold reality is coming regardless, and the willfully ignorant will be F U C K E D

THX-1138
THX-1138

OK it was a conspiracy. What do you want to do about it? It's always the same thing with conspiracy theorists: "Obama hired the Taliban to fly planes into the Twin Towers to cover up the truth about the fake moon landings and to push ahead gun control legislation that will obscure the fact that BO is not a citizen." But when pressed for solutions the only thing they continue to do is run around like chicken little hollering about how the sky was falling. We don't need theories. We ne

davidnay
davidnay

Loose Change is full of holes. If you want the truth, youtube "9/11 Blueprint for Truth".

SlobberTrail
SlobberTrail

Most people like to keep their fantasy world safe instead of waking up to cold reality. Cold reality is coming regardless, and the willfully ignorant will be F U C K E D

The-Langolier
The-Langolier UserTop Commenter

Not when you point it out like that, no.

turdsandwich666
turdsandwich666

cool now go back to mommy's basement.. oh and kermit the frog is hella gay

turdsandwich666
turdsandwich666

cool now go back to mommy's basement.. oh and kermit the frog is hella gay

Aggies77
Aggies77

please learn to spell. i, h and a are nowhere near each other on a keyboard

Aggies77
Aggies77

please learn to spell. i, h and a are nowhere near each other on a keyboard

otek420
otek420 User

oh shit sound the alarm we got the word police over here WEEEOOOO WEEEEOOOO WEEEEOOOO

otek420
otek420

oh shit sound the alarm we got the word police over here WEEEOOOO WEEEEOOOO WEEEEOOOO