10 Of The Most Hilarious Conspiracy Theories

The Public Polling Policy Institute released new poll results showing that your political affiliation plays a role in your conspiracy theory beliefs. Republicans tend to believe in conspiracy theories more often and with more fervor even when it doesn’t make sense while Democrats really don’t care or have a viable opinion (hey, it’s just like real politics)!

But no matter what your political beliefs are, I think we can all agree that these 10 conspiracy theories are some of the best and weirdest.

Stephen King Killed John Lennon

Author Steven Lightfoot believes John Lennon was politically assassinated. Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, and Stephen King, the actual shooter, are to blame. Mark David Chapman was simply a hired lookalike meant to take the fall. I’m not really sure why the government would do this, but let’s blame it on Yoko like we do everything else.


Aliens Landed In Roswell In 1947

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This is one we all know and love. A UFO crashed in Roswell, NM in 1947 with as many as eight aliens on board, some dead, some alive, some still trying to figure out where the blue meth was.


Tupac Isn’t Dead

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Tupac, arguably the most famous rapper at the time, super rich, enjoying life, partying all the time, getting any woman he wanted, decided it would be best to fake his death and live in some small, remote town in some boring part of the world in complete anonymity. Right…


The Philadelphia Experiment

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In October 1943 at the Philadelphia Naval Shipyard, the US government did a top secret test that rendered the US Navy destroyer Eldridge invisible. But the experiment went wrong causing the ship to travel through space and time, reappearing at sea. Several sailors were badly injured when their bodies intertwined with the ship during the teleportation. This might be complete bullshit, but it’s awesome.


The Denver Airport Is A Secret Military Establishment

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Rumor has it, this airport is a secret base full of underground tunnels, jail cells, and science labs for the Illuminati, New World Order, or the Reptoids (more on them next). While none of this can be verified with actual facts, it can be proven that this airport is huge and sort of a fucking nightmare to navigate. However, I did purchase an autographed Chuck Palahniuk book there years ago, so it’s a wash for me.


The World Is Being Governed By Reptiles

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BBC Reporter David Icke believes that alien reptitles are running the world. Also, 9/11 was their big plan to enslave the human race. And George W. Bush is a reptile. And so is Barack Obama. They came from the constellation Draco. They also believe Lizzy Mcguire was better than Hannah Montana. I don’t know. Nothing makes sense.


The Moon Landing Was Fake

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In a race to beat the Russians to the moon, the United States faked the landing. Buzz Aldrin can properly express our feelings towards these people:

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Nazis Live In Antarctica With UFOs And Aliens

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Rumor has it, the Nazis were constructing UFOs, possibly with help from aliens. At the end of the war, when the Nazi regime was falling, these UFOs were transported to secret bases in Antarctica where they still operate today, probably just flying around and looking at penguins and being really, really bored.


Global Warming Doesn’t Exist or Global Warming Exists

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Depending on who you ask, global warming is either a hoax invented by hippies and pot scientists hellbent on destroying capitalism OR global warming exists and evil politicians are willing to kill the earth in an effort to get rich. Seriously, there is no middle ground.


Wingdings Predicted 9/11

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When Wingdings was first introduced in 1993, typing “NYC” turned up those symbols you see, perhaps meaning it was okay to kill Jews. Microsoft said it was purely coincidental and changed it. However, if you type in “Q33NY,” you get what looks like a plane flying into two buildings. So in summary: people believe that a pointless and shitty font predicted 9/11. That’s absurd. What moron would… wait. Look what just happened when I typed this in!

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– Mark (follow on twitter)