10 Jobs We Pray We Never Have To Do

All the American workers deserve praise on Labor Day. However, we found ten job fields filled with workers that deserve just a little more praise than others. Why? Because they might just be the worst/grossest jobs you can have.

Fart Collector
Did you know you can fart too much? It’s true. Too much farting is a sign that you are unhealthy. And we know this thanks to gastroenterologists who collect and study farts. The average number of farts is 13.6 per day. Thanks, science!

As you can see here, your farts are really, really good.

Elephant Sperm Collector
While getting a black eye from an elephant’s penis is bad, it is also a great story to tell the grandkids.

Porta-Potty Maintenance Person
Because most people don’t know how to be a functional member of society that pees right into the big, round hole of a porta-potty and instead decides to just let the hose go loose and douse everything in sight, porta-potties are disgusting. Some poor bastard has to clean those up, you know? Maybe remember that next time you’re in one, you filthy animal.

Door-to-Door Salesman
The only people who can get away with selling things door-to-door and not being hated are children. There aren’t many of these anymore but the ones that still exist are the worst. Actually, they’re actually probably nice people just trying to earn a decent wage but when you interrupt me in the middle of my Duck Dynasty marathon, I ain’t happy.

Kenny Brooks is the man. However, there are rumors he is dead and no one knows for sure. Man, we hope not.

Bathroom Attendant
If you want to only make around $20k a year and listen to people crap and pee all day then force the uncomfortable eye contact that the bathroom goer has been trying their hardest to avoid, well have we got a job for you!

These specialty-doctors are here to help you pop zits. How someone falls into that line of work, we have no idea.

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Armpit Sniffer
How do you think deodorant companies study their products?

Do you know what comes out of babies?

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I’m the devil.

Roadkill Taxidermy
How gross is this job? So gross that a segment of it on “Dirty Jobs” was banned from the Discovery Channel.

Sewer Cleaner

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You know all that stuff you throw down a sink or in a toilet, then flush away never to see again? Yeah, someone does have to see it again. When there are bad clogs or terrible smells are other gross issues, somebody has to go into the sewers and get things fixed. The things they’ve seen…

– Mark (twitter me)