1) Sip ‘N Strip
The premise is simple: You sip. They strip. Enough said. Surely your dad will be disturbed by these “Risqué Highball Glasses.” Or, this gift will open up some needed conversation issues.
2) Penis Pump
Penis Pumps were all the rage for men in the ‘70’s. Nothing says, “Thanks Dad” more than helping him enhance the tool that brought you into the world. Nothing would make that family BBQ more awkward when pops opens up this gift.
3) 1970’s Playboy
What about vintage Playboys that feature women who are all now grandmas?
4) Tandy Radio Shack TRS-80
The most disturbing thing about this gift….the Tandy Radio Shack TRS-80 only has 4 kb of RAM!!! Ha-ha-ha, stupid, dumb 1970’s computer.
5) A Belted Sweater
You mean to say this fashion trend never caught on? Let’s dissect; it’s a sweater. And it has a belt. It’s a belted sweater. Imagine your dad’s eyes lighting up in pure confusion when you lay this on him.
6) Underwear That’s Funwear
Of course the disturbing part is when you give dad this gift along with the pair of roller-skates and sweat socks that pull right up to his knees.
Yes, Quaaludes used to be legal up until 1973. In fact, they were so legal, that magazines used to have ads for the drug. The tagline: “Now the physician has one less tired, sleepy and apprehensive patient to contend with.” Happy Father’s Day less tired dad!
8) BPA Fun Center Gift Certificate
The 1970’s were a fun-loving era where it was still funny to make jokes about beating your wife. So why not let dad have some fun and beat his wife?
9) Sweater Poncho
The 70’s were a golden age for knit items. Watch your dad not jump for joy when he receives a sleeveless sweater poncho – ideal for his regular soccer games where his torso might be a bit chilly.
10) Live Action Ken on Stage
Happy Father’s Day, dad! Yes, whose your daddy?
Follow Harmon Leon on Twitter @HarmonLeon