Celebrities have it rough. Their bodies are not like yours and mine. They can’t just stuff them full of Cheetos on the weekend or throw themselves in front of buses whenever they choose. A lot of people depend on celebrities’ various organic parts and functions to make their own living. There are entire economic systems that depend on the functionality of the knees, ear lobes and uvulas of body parts that the rest of us take for granted.
That’s why some of them take out huge insurance policies in case certain parts stop working or mysteriously fall off like so many leaves from the branch of a tree in Autumn.
1. Taylor Swift’s Legs
The pop star who goes through boyfriends the way most people go through Hot Pockets has an iconic set of legs and those gams are reportedly insured for almost $40 million or $20 million per leg.
2. Dolly Parton’s Breasts
Johnny Carson once told the bosomy country music legend that he would “give about a year’s pay to peek under there”. That’s a better deal than the $600,000 she would get from an insurer if the unthinkable happened to her breasts like if someone accidentally pricked one of them with a pin and they blew away like a set of flesh balloons.
3. Gene Simmons’ Tongue
It’s pretty safe to say that without Gene Simmons’ super long tongue, the KISS front man wouldn’t have the career he has today. So it’s no wonder that he took out a $1 million policy on his mouth’s long throw rug. Just imagine if he didn’t have that tongue to make him a star. He’d have to get by on his talent and looks alone.
4. Jimmy Durante’s Nose
The late comedian had one of the most famous voices and noses in the business. His big nose was so legendary that it could be identified by every person in the country because they could all see it from anywhere in America just by looking out of their window. So he struck a deal with Lloyd’s of London to insure his schnoz for the then-high price of $140,000.
5. Michael Flatley’s Legs
The “Lord of the Dance” has a record breaking set of stems, an even bigger accomplishment when you realize that no one you know has ever paid to see him. They helped him set two world records: the most feet taps per minute and at the time; the most expensive insurance policy for a body part. An insurance policy covered his legs to the tune of $40 million.
6. Mariah Carey’s Legs
Another pair of legs that drove guys crazy for a completely different reason broke Flatley’s record in 2006. The singer had her gams insured for $1 billion after her legs became the spokes-stems for Gillette’s Venus razor.
7. Tom Jones’ Chest Hair
The Welsh singer may be in the latter part of his life but he’s still the envy of most men who haven’t even been born yet. He’s still a major sex symbol who regularly attracts a female crowd willing to literally throw their panties at him while he’s belting out “What’s New Pussycat?” on stage. So it’s no wonder that he insured his illustrious chest hair for a $7 million payout.
8. David Lee Roth’s Sperm
The Van Halen front man’s choice of anatomical insurance made for some weird browsing while we tried to find an image to go with this entry. In his younger days, he took out a policy to cover his sperm for just under $1 million in case one of his groupies decided to file a paternity suit. These days, we’re sure he’s somewhere selling his sperm for far less to make ends meet.
9. Troy Polamalu’s Hair
The Pittsburgh Steelers’ star has the most famous haircut in the NFL and such a famous set of locks should have an equally infamous insurance policy. The strong safety inked a deal with Head and Shoulders to ensure his do for $1 million through Lloyd’s of London.
10. Heidi Klum’s Legs
A supermodel is nothing without a strong set of legs and Klum has one of the best pairs in the business. So she got them insured in 2004 for $1.1 million, which isn’t unusual for famous actresses or models with a killer set of stems. The unusual part is how much each one is worth. She has a scar on one of her legs from when she fell on a glass and the insurance company devalued the leg by $200,000.
Follow Danny Gallagher on Twitter @thisisdannyg.